Monday, December 21, 2009

Eternal Sunshine

Yes I know , I haven’t been updating regularly but I have been so busy with everything in my life that I simply don’t have the time ….. Busy being happy (pretty ironic)…. I wouldn’t have imagined that for me a few months back …. But then you should never underestimate the ability of life to surprise you. I really don’t know what changed or what’s working for me but I’m happy and I know it because I can’t wait to wake up and start another day. There is so much beauty around me, it overwhelms at me times …… I’m so happy that I can just die.
I couldn’t help but wonder what changed??? Me, my luck or God?? Whatever it was, I’m grateful to it for making me realize the beauty of imperfection. I remember at one point wanting so much out of life in one go and not having the resources to get those desires. I was desperate, feeling this void in my soul which I thought, could be filled with every possible thing in the world. As a matter of this fact someone asked what would I remember this year for??? I would say realization!!! Realization of what we are supposed to do here. I knew it all along but I forgot to apply it. This god sent angel helped me realize it. How ironic is it that I would run into her and she would teach me the greatest lessons of my life.
The lesson to appreciate life and love every moment of it while we are alive. It doesn’t matter if you don’t make it in life; it doesn’t matter if you are not perfect, if you don’t look the way you should be, what matters is you ….. And only you!!! Your imperfection is your beauty. We are told to be this person that everyone wants us to be ….. But what and who for??? We slog our asses (sorry for that word) to become one tenth of that image that is being pasted in our minds only to disappoint ourselves n everyone and lose our soul on the way…..
It would be foolish to say I know it all but I wish people could stop just for one day….. Just one day n appreciate what they have and not aim for the sky but the earth they are walking on. Who knows? I can be living in a fool’s paradise but then I’m HAPPY!!! (How many of u can say that???).
As lenka sings, “Enjoy the show ……”
Some food for thought until I blog next time … I hope someone reads it this time and gives some feedback …. Anyone???

Friday, December 4, 2009

Aiming for Perfection!!!!

Heyy there whosoever is reading this ….. Hii, Hola, Bonjour and Namaste!!! …. Iam sagar raha and I have decided to write about my life, dreams and aspirations and trust me (between you and me) it’s complicated …. Living all this and still aspiring to be who I want to be ….. Err!!! Here is the thing … iam a bit confused on what I want to be ….its not that iam not trying, its way too difficult to be pick something to do it for the rest of your life. That brings to the topic of routine which is pretty nonexistent in my life and which is something I can never come close to loving …. As a matter of fact routines, rules, commitment and monotony make me sick to my core and I repulse them like anything. I like variety ……. Adventure, fun, adreline pumping action, art and LIFE which simply can’t just stop amusing me…. Iam still amazed how Iam never able to predict its ways with me. Everything is a surprise!!! (Most of them were bad but then what life is).
By the way, iam a management student and I shamelessly admit that I have lost complete track of why Iam here. But then iam here for better or worse. When iam not slaving in my management classes, iam a dreamy eyed, adventure seeking, art appreciating writer who is looking for new experiences. I think I have seen the best and worst in life or so I think …. But whatever it is, it took a lot of me and gave me a lot. I have changed beyond recognition and I can’t recall my former self…. But that’s all behind me… iam a new me and this time its different …. (I can feel it my bones) so WORLD!!!! Watch out … Here I come ….
Iam going to post every adventure iam going to take and help many people along the way who just want that extra push to get their life back… My first challenge ….. My approaching birthday on 12th of December (the day of year I simply dread) …. Now iam a person who simply hates birthdays and finds them really depressing…. I don’t know wether its my childhood memories of really mind numbing birthday parties or the fact I have a problem with ageing (you see in my head im still 18) … whatever it is , I fail to understand what the big fuss about this day is … you wait endlessly for this day and suddenly the people who are supposed to love you remind of your added responsibility or try to have fun at your cost (quite literally) and if you happen to find anything joyous about this, it only lasts for a day and then it’s back to square one and did I mention the ageing part ??? (I think I did).
So the plan is, on this birthday of mine im going to simply take off alone on a secluded path to discover myself and treat myself to a great birthday …. I promise fun, adventure and lots of happiness to myself… this birthday is going to be different and trust me it’s going to be the best one so far….
So wish me luck!!! and I will keep you updated on my plans …. And don’t forget to write in your comments i.e. if someone is actually reading this. Anyone????